Disembark
by freefallinginlove
Summary: Because there were so many places and times Alex could have just gotten off. Now he's 19, and he's found the girl he wants to be with... how's he supposed to explain why he stayed on?
1. Disembark

_**Disclaimer: Hello, Anthony Horowitz. You're amazing. I didn't write Alex Rider. But Dammit if (19YO version) he's not my fiction-crush. I make no profit. I do manipulate AR, however...**_

**_OOC, I think a bit... AU ... well, it's the future... _**

**_Enjoy? R&R _**

* * *

**Disembark**

_Scream out my name. "__**Alex**__?" The voice was far away. "__**Alex, it's Calliegh.**__"_

_Use it. Use it well and don't forget that I... "I own you."_

The words crashed out of Alex's mouth as the bright light hit his eyes. Where they had come from, he still wasn't sure ten minutes later, though as he stared into the light, as focus came back to him and he stared at the figure beside his bed, he was startled to find that he felt his body responding in ways he didn't want it to.

Awkwardly, uncomfortably, he shifted sideways and tried to sit up.

"No..." She had a voice that was light, but smooth like hot chocolate. Alex was hungry. He only used food similes when, like any other teenage boy, he was starving. "Stay where you are." Her warm hands ran over his chest and knotted into his hair as she tilted his head slightly and he felt water slipping past his lips. As she released him, her fingers tugged slightly and the sensations that crept across Alex's skin sent his senses into overdrive. His lips were dry, some part of him moved to touch them but her hand got there first, a cloth draped over her thumb as she pressed it against the dry, broken skin. He felt his lips curving into a smile and she returned the gesture, her fingers wrapping around his own only a moment later.

"Who..." Then everything hit him.

Nineteen years old. _Second year at university. Calliegh Harris._

"Alex?" She ran her fingers across his forehead and he groaned a little bit. "Are you feeling better?"

"I..." He let out a sigh and sat up slowly, quickly, uncomfortably. "I feel sick." Within seconds, he had leaned over the side of the bed and dry-heaved, nothing coming up because there was nothing in his stomach.

"You collapsed." She whispered as she sat down on the bed beside him, he looked into her face and he caught the sadness in her eyes as she ran her fingers down his chest, settling on the scar just above his heart... above the various welts and scars that cris-crossed his skin. "I'd just got your shirt off, and you collapsed." She sounded slightly upset about it.

He leaned his head forward slightly, his lips parted as he took deeper breaths and his heart rate slowed slightly. Calliegh's fingers slid slowly down his arm and Alex convulsed under her touch. His lips moved silently, murmuring the words he had woken up to, whispering her name as he tagged it on the end of his breaths.

"Calliegh..." A slow, lurching movement and he pressed his lips to hers. She didn't fight. She belonged to him either way. His lips were possessive, strong and certain, even though he didn't know where the strength was coming from. She let herself fall back onto the duvet as Alex fought off the waves of sickness that were slowly trying to pull him under, but within a couple of minutes he was shaking again, his body solid but his head woozy and out-of-control.

She wondered what had gone on in his past as she tucked him back into his bed, laid something cool across his forehead and held his hand as, once again, his chest pounding as he groaned in his sleep and repeated that he owned her. She wondered what had gone on in his past as he slid his hand down her side and kissed her hard, pulling her body against his when they should have been studying, but made time for each other.

She wondered what had happened in his past when his eyes glazed over as he watched the ten o'clock news and then refused to comment on it... but it was the times he wouldn't say her name, the times he wouldn't give her his hand or the times when he wouldn't _let_ _her_ _go... _as though he was afraid she would up and leave him if he did. It was those times that made her fall a little more for him, even though she was afraid of what she would find.

_**... **_

_**Errh... I'd love to continue... howeverrr, I think I need to ponder this a little more. Tis a slightly OOC and AU fic by all means, and of course, this Alex here has... issues (duh) ... Any ideas, anything at all, any criticism... leave it in a review.**_

_**Please and thaankyou. **_

_**xxx**_


	2. Slide

_**Disclaimer: Hello, Anthony Horowitz. You're amazing. I didn't write Alex Rider. But Dammit if (19YO version) he's not my fiction-crush. I make no profit. I do manipulate AR, however...**_

**_OOC, I think a bit... AU ... well, it's the future... _**

**_Enjoy? R&R _**

**RIGHT: SERIOUS A/N here; **

**There's a lot of stuff here that's near the mark, but I'm holding this at a T: rating for the minute. If you'd like to see it even CLOSER to the mark, let me know in a review. **

**ALSO: The chapters will run to a Flashback (like this one), then alternate to a current day one. **

**Have a good day!**

**xx**

* * *

**Slide...**

_He watched her sit on the steps, looking at the lions on the column with a seriously pissed-off expression. He had only known her for three days – a group of them had come back to London for Christmas break, and James had brought his twin along – Calliegh who was, apparently, going to be the first female Indiana Jones – that was, if you listened to her brother. _

_ They had spent the train ride up from Exeter sitting next to each other and making surprisingly easy small talk – especially because she was the only girl in the group, and Alex hadn't spoken to many women since the Sabina Incident. He watched her now, taking in the smooth curves of her body and the clunky cast that made her broken ankle painfully obvious, and prevented her from, really, going to any of the clubs that her brother, and most of Alex's friends, had disappeared into. _

_ Somehow, he had volunteered to spend time with her, wandering around, only to end up in the middle of Trafalgar Square with her, sitting by one of the plinths with a brightly coloured ..._thing_... on it, her irritated and dismal because of her foot, and him annoyed that she was being so silent. _

_"You're not truly British if you've not sat on the lions," She said sullenly, his head snapping up as she spoke aloud for the first time since they had sat down, "And when the hell am I going to get the chance to do this again?" She looked down at her crutches with barely-concealed irritation and Alex had to laugh. "What's so funny?"_

_"Nothing," He murmured, the blush creeping up his face. "Do you really want to sit up on them?"_

_ There was a short, embarrassed pause, and then she looked up at him and blushed again. _

_"Yes." She held his gaze but at the same time looked terrified that he would laugh at her again. Her curious whims were more than interesting to him, though, and he wanted to join her in her quest to sit up there._

_"Well... come on." He was just hyper enough to do it, and he wondered blithely if she would let him manhandle her to get her up onto the bronze creatures. "I'll lift you up there." _

_"You're not strong enough." She retorted immediately. He scoffed internally but just rolled his eyes at her, holding out his hand and wondering if he should tell her that for the last four years, on and off, in the summers and the winter holidays, he had done more extreme sports and worked out harder than any other guy he knew. Mainly because MI6 could call on him any time, and he had to be ready. _

_Without a word, she hobbled over on the crutches, then he took them and raised them above her head and onto the plinth with the brass lion on it. She looked at him, cocking her eyebrow as he frowned slightly and held out his hands to her. _

_"Wh-what?" At the thought of close contact, she was terrified. She was attracted to him, she could feel it in the heat of her blush and the tightness in her chest, but she didn't want him to know. _

_"Come here." She obliged and wobbled as he placed his hands gently on her waist, "Put your hands on my shoulders, and when I say push..." He let out a short laugh and then realised that he was pressed against her so close he could feel the cold of the night through _her_ body's reaction. "Push. Down. **Hard**." Neither of them missed the slow and deliberate innuendo, but both of them felt the electricity as he murmured the final word._

_ She bit her bottom lip and he watched her breathing speed up, then level off as she pressed herself against him again and he turned them around so her back was up against the marble of the column. _

_"Push." He lifted her up and she pushed against him, though the first attempt was hardly going to get them anywhere – she slipped in her boots and wrapped her legs around him, afraid she would fall and do herself a serious injury. Her movements made some kind of primal radar go off in his brain, and she could only gasp as he pushed her back up against the wall, their hips grinding together and making his every breath a giddy little groan. _

_"Sugar," She giggled, putting on a silly little accent to go with it, making Alex feel totally drunk, even though he hadn't really enjoyed more than two, "You're gonna get us both into trouble-"_

_"There's nobody else here." Alex whispered against her skin and she very lightly tugged on his hair, making him look at her. "What?" He met her eyes and saw the nervousness in them. "I-is there a problem?"_

_"Only a small one." She ducked her head and felt his lips touch the top of her head as he let her hips go and she slipped to the floor. "It's not that... I don't find you attractive-" Her fingers twisted with the bracelet around her wrist, she kept her eyes on it as he lifted himself onto the brickwork to retrieve her crutches, "I mean, you're fucking hot," She pressed her hand against her ankle as a shot of pain jarred through it and looked up to find him gone. "But I'd rather know you better." _

_ He'd gone. Everyone always left. She let out a soft sniff and then jolted herself sideways as a boy landed right beside her in a combat-style crouch, holding two crutches out to her. _

_"Thankyou," He whispered, pressing his lips lightly to her cheek. "Maybe when we're closer?" He whispered, cocking an eyebrow and smirking slightly at her. It would be easier to explain the scar he had on his chest, easier to explain the scars on his back and his absolute refusal to play poker if she felt safer and more comfortable around him._

_"... Hmm." She stopped and looked at him, "Maybe when I know you." She whispered, her hands sliding up and down her arms to warm herself as she watched him pace around holding her crutches, then she looked up at the lion above her and sighed. _

_"You still wanna go up there, don't you?" Over the hubbub of London traffic, he had heard her sigh. He was genuinely concerned. _

_"Yes." She murmured, her face turning red in the dark glow of the lights once again._

_"Then come over here and jump on my back." She stared up at him in awe, but, nonetheless, got up and stepped closer to him, draping her arms over his shoulders and lifting herself up onto his back. He grinned when she couldn't see him, he was so desperate to be close to her._

_ Like a monkey, he scrambled the pair of them up onto the marble, her crutches abandoned on the floor as he set them both onto the marble and helped her sit on the feet of the black creature. _

_"Should I... take a picture or something?" Alex asked uncomfortably after about six minutes of silence and shuffling. "You know, so you'll always remember this?" She laughed lightly and nodded as he pulled out his phone and put the flash on it, before flashing her a grin and taking her picture. _

_"Show me?" She leaned forward and attempted to grab the phone from his hands, so he teased her and played at keeping it away from her hands. The position they ended up in didn't help his _littleproblem_, though Calliegh's low groan as he flipped them over made him feel a little... better._

_ His hands were planted either side of her head and he was so close to kissing her... until his phone rang in his hand, and he knelt up to answer it. Fuck. _

_"'Lo?" _

_"Alex, man," It was James, "Where did you and Cal' get to? We're outside the gallery, but dunno where you guys went-" _

_"We're on the lions." He groaned lightly as he shifted against Calliegh, who was still happily lying underneath him. She made a sound in reply and he smirked slightly, running his hand across her stomach, tickling her and making her laugh. _

_"I'mma kill you when you let me up." She hissed._

_"You sound more like you're on _her_, not the Lions," James said, fury in his voice, "Dude, you've only just met her, don't be fucking with my sister." There was a short pause before Alex dared to murmur a response._

_"I'm not." He whispered, as his hand came to trail down her side and gently press against her hip. "Trust me, I'm not." Though the small circles he was rubbing against the patch of bare skin he had found told anyone who could have seen them that this was far from the truth. He wanted to be doing something to James' sister... just right now, he wasn't sure what._

_"Well, come on. We'll meet you at the subway down there, alright?" _

_"Yeah, fine." Alex realised his voice was a lot lower, a lot more annoyed than it had been before he had answered the phone, "See you in a bit, Jim." _

_ He hung up and looked at Calliegh, still lying underneath him, her hands now cradling her head slightly, keeping her comfortable against the cold marble. _

_"Come on, Calliegh, we've gotta get to the station." He went to pull her upright, but she held out her hand to stop him._

_"One more photo-" She pulled him down beside her and pulled his phone from his hands. Holding it out in front of her, she took a picture of the pair of them, one that would soon become Alex's wallpaper._

_ A part of him, as he felt her slide down his body and alight on the ground, wanted to take her away at that moment and keep her for himself. Her lips were slightly parted as she breathed out and rested her head on his shoulder, whimpering at the pain in her ankle before she looked up at him, smiled and he tugged her toward him with intent to steal her away._

_"Oi! Cal', Rider! Get over here!" The shout made them spring apart, and Calliegh blushed, looking at Alex with a mischievous glint in her eye._

_"We're not done here." She whispered as they stepped toward the subway that would lead to the Tube lines, "Trust me Alex, there's more to come." _

_ He didn't know whether to be terrified... or ask exactly when he could expect it._

_**... **_

_**A/N: Review. **_

_**Let me know whether you want this... to get naughty? **_

_**Any ideas, anything at all, any criticism... leave it in a review.**_

_**Please and thaankyou. **_

_**xxx**_


	3. No More

_**Disclaimer: Hello, Anthony Horowitz. You're amazing. I didn't write Alex Rider. But Dammit if (19YO version) he's not my fiction-crush. I make no profit. I do manipulate AR, however...**_

**Still a T-Rating for now. The next chapter will be... more interesting. **

This is the Current or Present Day... as you can tell, the past is in Italics (as in ch.2) and the present is unformatted.

Past in the next chapter ...

**Have a good day!**

**xx**

* * *

_**No More**_

"I feel like your mum," Calliegh sighed as she ran a hand through her hair and threw herself down at the table, "Ringing up to tell your mates that you're not going to lectures so," She put on a squeaky voice, "Can someone photocopy your notes for you?"

She folded her arms and shook her head tiredly, watching Alex run a hand through his hair and let out a soft groan as he tried to swallow the soup that she had set in front of him.

"My mum died." Alex muttered furiously, pissed off that she was alright and he felt like hell. "So I hope you _don't _feel like her-" Calliegh's mouth fell open in a sort of surprised gasp, and Alex looked at her when the tiny whimper echoed through the room.

"I didn't know." She whispered. "I-it was just a figure of speech... I didn't-"

"Calliegh, I..." Alex stared into the bowl of homemade chicken soup that she had so kindly made him, skipping out on _her _Archaeology lecture this morning to look after his sorry arse. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright, Alex." She looked at the floor, then back up at him, her eyes tired and, he thought, a little more than upset. "Really... I shouldn't have said it." She shrugged and went back out to the bedroom to try and find the dirty washing that needed doing.

Settling his head in his hands and sighing loudly, Alex steeled himself, then rose and followed her, calling her name after a few seconds, when he realised she hadn't gone the way he'd expected her to.

"I'm in here." She murmured a few seconds later, appearing from the room behind him, her arms laden with bed sheets and the duvet cover he had had on his bed that morning. "Listen, er…" She rubbed the back of her head with her sort-of free hand. "I... feel really bad for saying-"

"No." Alex spoke to cut her off. There wasn't anything he had to say, he just needed her to stop apologising. "I never told y-you," He yawned and she closed her eyes for a very long time.

"But Alex..." She looked at him and ran the hand that wasn't holding the covers down his arm, then down to take his hand, "You've never told me anything."

There was silence between them as her jaw went slack at her sudden confidence and his apparent loss of general bodily function. Time stretched before her as she let out a long groan and dumped the pile of dirty laundry to the floor, swearing and storming away, her scowl etched into her features as though she was made of marble.

"Calliegh!" Alex regained the power of speech as he heard her room door slam. They – Alex, James, Calliegh and Rob – had been renting the house for the best part of the new year, but with Rob and James preferring to spend the nights at their respective girlfriends' houses, there was never anyone to come between Alex and Calliegh. It was nice, in one respect, but when one needed somebody to talk their other half around, it was difficult to find someone at short notice to help end the periods of furious silence and determined ignorance.

"Go away." She said quietly through her door, in reply, Alex jiggled the door handle and hoped she would unlock it. "It's not locked." She said at the same second it swung open in his hand.

"Wh-Calliegh?" He was confused. It was as simple as that, but it seemed to her that she could never make him see that she didn't understand why he never told her things, and why she got wound up about that, and why she refused to tell him anything about her past when he wouldn't tell her anything about his... which she knew was hypocritical and...

Infuriated, she shoved her hands into her pockets and threw herself onto her bed, sickness and tiredness and irritation coursing through her with every breath, every movement of her hand, of her fingers as they locked into her hair and pulled furiously.

"I'm coming in, Cal'." She sucked on her bottom lip and she stared at her feet, stretched out along the bedcovers and staring into the varnish she had done some time ago.

"Fine." She muttered, then, as he sat down at the bottom of the bed, looking at her with a nervous glance, "You know what pisses me off, Alex? You fuck me, and you dare to fucking say you want to be with me... but you don't tell me shit." He was staring, but his eyes were glinting with guilt and sadness as her rant continued, "You tell me you're from London, that you've been all over the world with... you don't even tell me that!" She threw up her hands and then pointed at him, accusation creeping into her tone, "Is it that you're frightened? Or that you just don't fucking want to talk to me because after this, you're going to throw me to the kerb and leave me?"

Her cheeks were bright red and her lips were dry, she licked them and found Alex staring at them, leaning forward slightly. _No. She would not give in._

"Calliegh..." He looked up at her after a couple of seconds of silence and shifted closer to her. "You don't understand how hard it is to... to tell you all the things I've seen and done... how fucking impossible it is... and how hard it is for me not to be able to tell you-"

"You told James not to tell me. He fucking knows and he won't even tell me!" She kept her eyes on the nail varnish that only now did she realise was chipped and cracked from ages of use. Alex shifted to put his arms around her, to squeeze her tight and give her the date he could tell her the truth, but she shoved him away with such force that she fell from the bed and ended up looking at him from the floor. "Do you know how it feels when you think you're being used, Alex?"

"More than you'll ever fucking know."

Alex Rider opened his mouth, and then closed it again, his lips forming the letters of the organisation that had messed with him, his life and the people he cared for. There was no sound in the room apart from the steady ticking of Calliegh's alarm clock, and Alex's slow breathing. He looked down at her after two minutes of awkward, horrific silence and she stared back into his face.

"Then tell me."

"I can't." He stopped and went to offer her his hand.

"Then I can't either."

_**... **_

_**A/N: Is Calliegh a Hypocrite, or is she Right to tell Alex he's a twat? **_

_**Let me know what you think.**_

**_Let me know where you want their first... experience to be. _**

**_Let me know all of your thoughts in a review_**

_**xxx**_


	4. Poker

_**Disclaimer: Hello, Anthony Horowitz. You're amazing. I didn't write Alex Rider. But Dammit if (19YO version) he's not my fiction-crush. I make no profit. I do manipulate AR, however...**_

**Welcome to Perversion, population Moi. This chapter contains some naughty moments. Don't Like? Don't Read. **

Poker? I hardly know her =P

**Have a good day!**

**xx**

* * *

_**Poker? Most Definitely**_

_"This game is so fucking... _dry**_._**_" James muttered under his breath and everyone looked up at him and laughed. I held my cards a little tighter, and looked over at Alex; sure he would have some kind of reaction to that._

_True to form, his voice went deep, his eyes went dark and he whispered the words that made me almost explode in my seat._

_"If you want, I'll make it wet." _And there we go. Calliegh in need of a knicker change.

_I kept my eyes on the desk as I watched my brother throw his cards in, then Louis raised and Robbie threw in his cards too. The pair of us stared at each other; Louis' cards face down in front of him and his eyes dancing brightly. He had a pair, for sure, but I doubted he'd realised that I was holding the third three, the other two sitting happily in the flop in front of me. _

_If I won this, then I was leaving the table for a five minute break and going to get a drink. _

_"You alright, Cal'?" My brother looked at me, his eyes wide. I could tell he was more than a little drunk, but I wasn't going to complain. "You look... like you're gonna get fucked." _

_"Sorry?" Alex coughed as he choked on his drink and looked at me, his eyes wide. "Alex, are you alright?" _

_"I... erm..." He looked between me and my twin and then smirked back at me. "Any chance you could help me, Calliegh?" I looked at him again, silence reigning over the table, "My jeans are soaked."_

You're not the only one.

_I deliberately put my cards in my back pocket and crossed the room to him. I knew Louis was watching my arse too, but Alex was the one I was going to wind up tonight. Grabbing some tissues from the counter as I rounded the table, I pulled his chair out from the table and he looked at me for a long second before I dropped to my knees in front of him and laid my hands on his thighs. _

_He made a strangled noise and I rubbed my hand up higher, the tissues still in my grip and sliding up along the seams of his jeans with my thumbs. He groaned and I smirked as I leaned over his lap, noting the tent that was now growing in his jeans, and the way his shoulders tensed as I squeezed his knee and I reached over and touched his hip. _

_"There we go, all good." I got up and left him, mouth open, jaw slack and his eyes glazed over as I turned and deliberately sashayed my hips as I walked away from him. He choked on his drink as he tried to breathe once again, but I turned and winked at him as I sat back down, deliberately pulling my cards slowly from my back pocket. _

_"C-Calliegh?"_

_"Hmm?" I quirked an eyebrow at him lightly, and pretended I hadn't done anything, though my panties were soaked and my chest was actually burning with desire. He licked his lips and glanced at mine, before smirking lightly and pulling at the buttons on his shirt. _

_"Could I... change my shirt? I don't want to end up all _sticky_ and _hot._" Okay. I wasn't insane. He was fucking doing it on purpose._

_"Course, doesn't bother me." I got up and turned around, intending to take the shot glasses out to the kitchen and switch them out for glasses of coke, but Alex's voice made me turn before I could remember why I _wasn't_ looking. OhfuckingGod. _

_"Oh, erm, Calliegh?" I turned around, and the glass I was holding smashed to the floor. He had a six-pack – that was totally a given, because I knew Alex worked out, but... there was a scar, no, a... hole, in his chest, right over his heart...he looked like he had been shot, and his torso was covered in tiny – and not so tiny scars. _

And they were hot.

_"Y-Y-yes?" I swallowed and bent over to pick up the larger chunks of glass on the wood flooring, trying not to look up at his sexy smirk and his totally lickable chest. _

_"Do you mind sticking this in the wash?"_

_"Why don't you do it?" I retorted, finding my composure again and crossing the room to bin the glass._

_As I shut the kitchen door to get around to the bin, I felt a pair of hands sneak under my shirt and I twisted to see who it was. Their lips attached themselves to my neck before I could blink and he shoved me up against the door with a low bang, making the pair of us start, but not putting him off – his lips slipped even lower as he unzipped my hoodie and pulled my vest top down, nearly snapping the skinny straps as my bra saw the yellow light of the kitchen. _

_"Oh... fuck..." My back arched as he tugged one of my nipples into his mouth and I slipped my hands into his hair, pulling him closer but trying to push him away simultaneously. "Alex!!" _

_He looked up at me and proceeded, without a word, to press open mouthed kisses back up from my breasts to my jaw, then, as my hands tightened in his hair, pulling him closer, our lips met and I knew I was going to be royally fucked. Both emotionally _and _physically._

_"Alex... Alex, please, look at me." I begged as he lifted me from my feet and my legs wrapped almost violently around him. I could feel him pressing into me from nearly every angle, and it made me so. Fucking. Hot. _

_"Do you know what you were doing to me in there? Not only does my best friend's twin know fucking poker, but she's good at it..." He pressed his lips to my neck and I moaned as his length ground against my hips as well. "And she's gorgeous." He nipped me lightly, I could feel the bruise it would leave burning me already, then his lips parted and his tongue laved over them, soothing me and making me want to do very, very bad things. "And she is totally. Fucking. Untouchable." _

_My fingers fumbled on his belt as he pulled away and I tried to get to the one thing I wanted right now – him. Finally, I got the zip and button on his jeans undone and I felt him buck against me as I ran my palm along his length, across his hips and then tugged him toward me. _

_"You wanna touch me, Alex Rider?" I buried my head in the crook of his neck and wrapped my legs around his hips as he tugged me closer and my body ground on his. "Then fucking touch me." _

_His fingers slipped the button of my jeans open and I felt them slide under the lacy fabric of my panties. _

_"Ah!" I let out the loudest groan as he slid his hand right under them and I felt his fingers caress my slit. "Fuck, Alex, please-"_

_"You want me, Calliegh?" Oh. Oh fuck yes. "Say it." _

_"I want you." I leaned forward and ground against his hand hard, feeling two of his fingers push into me, feeling me on the inside and pulsing faster and faster as he found that spot and I bucked up against him, trying to find his body so I could make him see the stars that were starting to explode before my eyes. _

_Oh. My. Michael. Bublé. _

_"Alex..." He dropped me as soon as I had melted into him, my chest pounding and my knees weak. His arms were tight around me, and he was murmuring words into my ear, telling me I was beautiful and that... _

_I moved my hand to touch his cheek, the other one pressing into his hip and trying to beat the waistband of his jeans, though as soon as I did, I let out a giggle. _

_Jizzed in his pants. Oh. My. Bublé._

_I looked up at him and grinned as he leaned over to kiss me and I ducked out of the way._

_"Oh no... I expect at least a first date." I whispered as I crossed to the sink, washed my hands and pulled my shirt back to its original position. _

_A first date... and a second. And a third... _

_**... **_

_**A/N: Pretty poor, I think...**_

**_But then again, you're the readers. Let me know your thoughts._**

**_Oh. My. Michael. Bublé. - Wish I owned him. But I don't. _**

**_Let me know all of your thoughts in a review_**

_**xxx**_


	5. Explain?

_**Disclaimer: Hello, Anthony Horowitz. You're amazing. I didn't write Alex Rider. But Dammit if (19YO version) he's not my fiction-crush. I make no profit. I do manipulate AR, however...**_

**Bonjour! Salut! Or something like that! **

**Present day =] **

**Have a good day!**

**xx**

* * *

_**Explain?**_

She got up and walked away, letting the door to her bedroom bang shut almost violently, and leaving him sitting there, still staring at the space she had been occupying only moments before and feeling sick.

His fingers found the soft fabric of her duvet and he remembered just lying here, two nights ago, with her hair entwined between his fingers and her eyes locked with his as she moaned lightly and bent down to kiss him again, whispering a 'goodnight' as she pulled away.

_"Calliegh?" He had dared to ask her to stay awake, finally feeling that the time was right to explain it all to her. "Calliegh, I-"_

_"Hmm?" She turned to look at him and ran her fingers up the side of his ribs, her touch almost incinerating his thoughts and his heart as she laid there, unmoving, staring up into his face. The words he would have said were not for now. He knew when he looked back down to her face, that that was right. There was nothing like that for her to hear now. _

_"Nothing." She laughed lightly and she turned her head again, resting her ear against his chest. She heard the rumble of laughter bubble up in his chest, and smiled as the sound escaped his lips. "Just..." Her fingernails scratched over his nipple and he hmm'd slightly. Her lips were inches from his body, until she leaned slightly forward and pressed her lips against his skin. "Cal'... I love you."_

_"Hmm." She hummed contentedly and nodded against his side, his hand closing around hers she moved her body so she was leaning over him and leaned on one elbow, her other hand coming up to trace the same sentiment over his heart with a small smile. "I love you too." He pulled her down on top of him and grinned when she sighed against his skin and made goosebumps erupt all over his chest. _

He waited, he considered going after her and wondered exactly what he would say if he did. There was silence in the whole place, and he wondered where she had gone, where she _would _go. The silence was pain enough for him, because he knew she was volatile, that she was afraid of being broken, being used...

And he knew how it felt to be like that.

"Calliegh!" He yelled out to her, hoping she would reply to him, hoping her voice would carry back to him and make him feel wanted, feel cared for... "Calliegh, _please_!"

He stumbled from her bed and looked over at her things. The pictures of them that sat in the camera, waiting to be developed so she could stick them in an album, the hairbands that were twisted around the ceramic hairbrush he had bought for her birthday, chipped from the time he had thrown it across the room, furious about how they weren't... _communicating._ He hadn't done it in front of her, though. He'd never hit a woman. He'd never get mad around her...

He shouted her name twice more and was reminded quite painfully of Sabina, or, more likely, _the absence_ of Sabina from his life. The silences that followed her name when he or James mentioned her, when Tom mentioned the "American Skank" during his phonecalls from Australia, the way Calliegh stiffened when she heard her name mentioned like it was someone she should be afraid of, should want to back away from.

"Jesus." Alex shook his head and crossed his arms across his chest, rubbing his ribs as he crossed the room and sighed as he laid his hand on the doorway. "Calliegh, come out of the bathroom, please." She simply slammed a cupboard within the room and told him where to go.

Silence reigned in the gap between them, minutes passing as they refused to break, until Alex spoke, his chest pounding with every syllable he spoke aloud. He raised his fingers to the door, knocking lightly and whispering the words to her.

"Calliegh, can I come in?" He hadn't expected to sound so broken, so forlorn.

"No!" She shouted back, her voice thick with tears and hurt. "L-Leave me a-alone." She murmured, and the thud against the door told Alex that she had either hit out with her fist, collapsed against it, or thrown the soap against the wooden panelling. He reckoned it was the first one, but pushed against the door to make sure.

"Please, Calliegh?" He whispered, "I'll tell you everything?" He offered with a soft sigh, and she finally unlocked the damn door. He made a noise of apology, but she didn't speak as she stared at him.

"Everything?" She said softly, "Everything that... you've done?"

"All of it." He whispered, reaching forward and trying to run his hand through her hair. She stepped back and shook her head, not letting him touch her.

"Alright." She whispered, nodding, "Then I'll tell you my side too." She nodded again and stepped back into the bathroom, returning with an abundance of tissues. Alex went to hold his hand out to her, but she shifted slightly and instead he wrapped his arm around her waist, nearly crushing her to him.

"Okay." He smiled and she returned the gesture. "Do you want to start?"

"After you." She waved her arm in an exaggerated gesture and he bobbed his head lightly, smiling as she stepped back into her room.

_This would be a long, long night. _

_...._

_**A/N: ? Opinions please?**_

**_Let me know all of your thoughts in a review_**

_**xxx**_


	6. Cling

_**Disclaimer: Hello, Anthony Horowitz. You're amazing. I didn't write Alex Rider. But Dammit if (19YO version) he's not my fiction-crush. I make no profit. I do manipulate ...**_

_I also advise you to reread the last chapter. Quite a bit. Lol, SmutWarning, by the way... _

**Disembark**

She hmm'd as she sat opposite him, crossing her legs on the bed and wrapping her arms around herself. Alex rolled his eyes at her and the small smile she cracked was more than worth the anguish of the past hour and a half.

"Calli," He sighed, "Where... I don't know where to start." She shrugged and blinked a couple of times as he watched her. Suddenly, she shivered, and he didn't need any other excuse. "Come sit?" he patted his lap, and she smirked, knowing exactly what he was attempting to do – delay the inevitable.

"Nice try, Rider, but even if I sit there, you're spilling your story."

"Thanks." He huffed lightly, surprised when she moved closer and straddled his lap, sitting in the gap between his knees, her legs wrapped around his hips, her hands on his thighs, holding herself upright.

"Welcome." She moved slightly, and he hissed; the awkward tension between them almost immediately dissolving into something far more... enjoyable. She leaned forward and put her hands on his shoulders, waiting for the explanation, but at the same time knowing that he wasn't going to want to talk for long.

Short bursts. That would be good for the pair of them. Short bursts coupled with serious physicality? Even fucking better. She nodded at him again, and he ran his hands through first his hair, then hers, then draped his hands across her shoulders, holding her upright and against the solid length that was pressing between them.

"So, I guess... I'll start from the beginning?" It came out like a question, and he realised she had the power over him... _and that he liked it. _

"Brilliant choice, Mr. Rider." A small nod.

"My uncle died when I was fourteen." She nodded again, having already learnt that from James, "And some really weird shit started to go down, you know? There were these people that came over to our house, nicked everything in his study, left me with maybe a picture... and that was about it." He hesitated, wondering how much he could reveal before he was breaking the contract he'd signed when he'd first seen the Official Secrets Act.

"Uhhuh," A pause, "I know this bit – Alan Blunt, wasn't it? The manager dude," She stopped, "He didn't... you know..." She raised her eyebrows and sat back a bit, suddenly awkward and uncomfortably distant from him, "Hurt you?" Alex let out a laugh and shook his head, lightly pulling her back toward him and capturing her lips with his own.

"No, he didn't... but the manager... wasn't technically a manager. He was..." Stopping, Alex took a deep breath and rested his cheek against hers, so he could whisper in her ear, "He was a senior officer for MI6."

"What?" She raised an eyebrow again, this time leaning up to him and gripping his lapel, "So your uncle was James Bond, right?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Shit, Rider, you know I hate being in the dark about your past, but Christ, I'd rather you lied to me than tell me all that bullshit. You know how I hate liars."

"I'm not lying." He harrumphed again, raking his eyes down Calliegh's body, his hands following suit, completely out of control. "If I was lying... God, Cal', I wish I was fucking lying."

She let out a sigh as he started to pull off his shirt.

"I was fourteen and three quarters when I was shot in the chest, about an inch and a half above my heart. I thought I was going to die, Calliegh. I thought that... I just didn't know." He traced the length of her arm with his fingers, then pulled her against him, taking her hand and pressing it against the bullet scar, the hole above his heart.

"No." She refused to take the situation in. She shook her head again and again as he told her the Stormbreaker Story, her voice diminishing as he finished it. "You were... the boy. The one with the g-gun. At the science museum?" She was barely breathing.

"Yeah." His voice was... almost dead. He hated rehashing his history. Hated thinking of everything that hurt him just a little bit more than it did the last time he thought about it. "Yeah, I was. And I think that was the day... that I started just shutting everything out." He stopped, looking down at where she had buried herself against his shirt, clinging to his torso and holding onto his hands.

"No, Alex." She shook her head again, and Alex realised she was crying.

"It was the day I started shutting everything, and every_one _out, Cal." He pulled her up against him, so their chests were pressed together, separated by her top. "And it's that day that I hate the most, because..." He sighed and gripped her wrist, so tightly she wondered if she would bruise. "It's the day that's forcing you and I apart, Calliegh."

"No, Alex," She whispered again, "No." The tears in her eyes cleared slightly, and she lifted her hips a little, proving that they could be together again, even for a little while.

"I want to," He knew what she meant by that tiny movement, but he buried his head in her neck and shook, "I could hurt you."

"You..." She sighed, "You've never hurt me before." A pause, he nodded his understanding, "Never physically, only by keeping things-"

His lips silenced her, pressing against hers and sliding down to decimate her jawline, nipping and sucking down her neck until he was convinced she would be sufficiently marked. She was his. He lifted her easily and pressed her down against her bed, grinding his hips into hers.

"This," He growled, "Is what you do to me," She let out a low gasp; he had never been so commanding, so desperate before. "No other girl." He grunted a little as he tugged on her pyjama shorts and found that they came away in his hands. Sliding two fingers past the soft cotton panties she was barely wearing, he pushed them into her, and let her wetness try to calm him, reassure him, even. She whispered his name with every third thrust and gasped when his thumb brushed her clit, slowly bringing her to some kind of twisted collision. "No other guy does this to you, does he?"

She was so dumbstruck by the sensations coursing through her, millimetres from her peak, from the edge of the precipice, that she couldn't respond.

"I said," He pulled his fingers away from her body, "_does he?_"

"No." She murmured, pulling her own weight up so that she was pressed against him, "I'm yours. Only yours." Her legs locked around his hips and pulled their heat together, she could feel him, solid against her and she kept trying, her hands fumbling for his belt, but her legs refusing to unlock from around him. "Please." She begged, finally freeing him from his denim jail.

"What do you want?" He said, biting down on her earlobe to push away the fears that he would hurt her, that she would cry, "Tell me, Calliegh," His fingertips tugged at her knickers and they ripped at the seams. She whimpered again, moaning his name as he pressed against her, into her.

He took her and she didn't know how to respond. She gave him everything she could just to calm him, to stop the tears he didn't realise he was shedding into her hair, to show him that she loved him.

She loved him.

"I love you." She whispered, he whispered it back. "I'm not going anywhere." She murmured, he sighed and fell against her, holding her to him into the night.

_**... **_

_**Eauh. Yeah. Strange, much? Awkward, much? Stupidly sexual, much? **_

_**Review Please and thaankyou. **_

_**xxx**_


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